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We racked our brains, scoured the internet, and asked some robots to develop the ultimate list of over 200 robot jokes including Robot Dad Jokes, Kid-Friendly Robot Jokes, Knock-Knock Robot Jokes. Don’t fret because we do not include NSFW jokes.
Share your favorite robot jokes with your friends with #robotjokes.
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Kid-Friendly Robot Jokes
A robot didn’t want to have his photo taken.
When he was asked why, he replied: Because I’m a photo-resistor!
A robot gets arrested.
He’s charged with battery.
A robot man walks into a robot restaurant.
A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
A robot musician’s collection of instruments will never be complete.
They can never get any organs.
A robot walks into a bar and says he needs to loosen up.
So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.
A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’ll ya have?”
The robot says, “Well, it’s been a long day and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?”
Did you hear about the writing robot who combined all the books ever written into one big novel?
It’s a long story.
Does R2D2 have any brothers?
No. Only transisters.
Hey, did you hear the story about the headless robot?
According to reports, he completely lost his mind!
How are A.I. blogs similar to philosophy majors?
That’s easy… they’re both always trying to explain what ‘deep learning’ is!
How did the robot get across the river?
In a ro-boat.
How did the robot’s teacher mark his book?
With robo-ticks.
How do you know when you’re in love with a robot?
You feel a little spark.
How do you reboot a robot?
You kick it in its robutt.
How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?
Press the paws button.
How long is the robot alphabet?
There are just two numbers – 0 and 1!
How many robots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three — one to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder!
I bought one of those early 2000s robot dogs but have nowhere to charge it;
I can’t find a place to pug it in.
I finally fulfilled my dream to become a half-cyborg!
It did cost me an arm and a leg, though.
I got a new robot dog last week.
Its name is Dogmatic.
I invented a surgical robot.
So far it only operates on batteries.
I just got a wireless robot the other day.
You could say that our relationship comes with no strings attached.
I was bored, so I made a robot that distributes herbs.
It helped pass the thyme.
I’m not saying all factory workers are robots…
All I’m saying is when they get to work they’ve returned to their factory setting.
I’m starting to make a robot that has really high words per minute count.
He’s a pro-to-type.
If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it…
Scandinavian.
In a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down. The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
Inventor: “Hey, will you give me a hand?”
Robot: Detaches hand, hands it to the inventor.
Judge: “So, Mr. Robot. Your neighbor accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plea?”
Robot, the defendant: “Guilty as charged.”
My wife told me robots don’t wash themselves. So I put one in the bath and said “That’ll shower”
Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.
They call it Mars.
A robot orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks them how they wants their robot steak prepared.
The robot replies, “Weld on.”
There was a giant, steel, robot who had one job, protect the city.
One day when it was raining some of the screws got rusty and fell off causing one of the legs to fall off entirely. When the leg fell off it crushed the city that it was meant to protect.
Oh, the iron knee!
What Android team won the Olympic water sports?
The Rowbots
What did one robot say to the other after they got arrested by the police?
“At least we got charged.”
What did the baby robot call its creator?
Da-ta
What did the creator tell his egotistical robot?
You have got a chip on your shoulder
What did the man say to his dead robot?
“Rust in peace.”
What did the robot carry in its wallet?
Cache
What did the robot do at lunchtime?
Had a mega byte!
What did the robot order for take away?
Computer chips with a dessert of raspberry pi
What did the robot say to his crush?
“I like you a bot.”
What did the robot say to the man he had just met?
“I am robot.”
What did the robot say when he was asked to shut down?
Ro-NOT!
What did the robot’s friends say at his funeral?
“Rust in peace.”
What did they call the robot who loved to eat noodles?
The ramenator!
What do doggy robots do?
They byte.
What do robot dogs have?
Robo-ticks.
What do robot pine trees grow?
Sili-cones.
What do robots drink from?
A ro-bottle.
What do robots eat for snacks?
Micro Chips
What do robots eat?
A bit of this and a byte of that.
What do robots read in book club?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Wire.
What do robots wear in winter?
Re-boots.
What do robots wear when it snows?
Roboots
What do they do every summer in robot neighborhoods?
Have a ro-block party.
What do you call a Canadian robot?
A snowbot.
What do you call a frozen droid?
An ice-borg.
What do you call a lying robot with a positive outlook?
Optimist prime the deception-con
What do you call a pirate droid?
Argh2-D2
What do you call a robot that doesn’t use deodorant?
C3-BO.
What do you call a robot that likes to row?
A row-bot.
What do you call a robot which drives a car?
A road-bot.
What do you call a robotic horse?
A woahh-bot.
What do you call a sad robot?
A woebot.
What do you call an A.I. program that’s capable of identifying spa treatments?
Facial recognition software!
What do you call an angsty teenage robot?
A sigh borg.
What do you call an invisible droid?
C-through-P0.
What do you call it when two robots eat in a restaurant together?
A dinner data.
What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
A trans-farmer!
What does a robot do at lunchtime?
It has a megabyte.
What does a robot giving birth have?
Contraptions
What does a robot say when it has to use the restroom?
Peepoop.
What famous robot wrote Phantom of the Opera?
Android Lloyd Webber
What haircut do rastafarian robots have?
Droidlocks
What happened when they shut down the robot highway?
You take the R2-Detour
What happens to robots after they go defunct?
They rust in peace.
What happens to robots who become defunct?
They die-ode.
What happens when a robot falls into muddy waters?
It gets wet and muddy
What happens when a robotic arm gets sent to prison what happens?
It now has 0 degrees of freedom.
What is a baby robot’s first word?
Data.
What is a restaurant for robots called?
Dell taco
What is a robot’s favorite band?
Metal-lica
What is a robot’s favorite book?
Artificial Intelligence, written by Anne Droid.
What is a robot’s favorite dance?
The Roomba.
What is a robot’s favorite movie?
Raiders of the Lost Spark.
What is a robot’s favorite music genre?
Heavy Metal.
What is a robot’s favorite song?
“Light My Wire.”
What is a robot’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal!
What is R2D2 short for?
Because it has little legs.
What is the name of Optimus Prime’s wife?
Optimus Prim.
What kind of androids do you find in the Antarctic?
Snobots
What kind of robot lives in Alaska?
Snow-bots.
What kind of salad do androids like?
Ones made with ice-borg lettuce.
What language do Eeyore and Marvin the Robot use to communicate?
Morose Code.
What makes Al Gore so robotic?
His Al Gore rhythm.
What musical instrument do robots play?
Cyborgans
What musical instrument do robots play?
The cyborg-an.
What name should you never call a robot?
Rusty.
What restaurant did the robot go to?
Megabytes.
What sound does a robot sheep make?
Be-e-ep, be-e-ep.
What was the robot charged with?
Assault and battery.
What was wrong with the wooden robot?
It just wooden work!
What’s the difference between a pizza and these robot jokes?
These robot jokes can’t be topped!
What’s a robot’s favorite animal?
A cowculator.
What’s a robot’s favorite book?
“Transform Yourself” by Anne Droid
What’s a robot’s favorite candy?
A ‘Wall-E’pop
What’s a robot’s favorite dance?
The Roomba.
What’s a robot’s favorite exercise?
Circuit training.
What’s a robot’s favorite font?
Roboto
What’s a robot’s favorite food?
Microchips.
What’s a robot’s favorite Mexican food?
Silicon Carne.
What’s a robot’s favorite pop song?
Mr. Roboto
Where did the robot go on vacation?
Bots-wana.
Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?
Decepti Con
Where do baby robotic vacuums come from?
The Woomba.
Where do robots go on holiday?
Wireland.
Where do robots sit?
On their ro-bottoms.
Why are robot mechanics never lonely?
Because they’re always making new friends.
Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.
Why are robots shy?
Because they’ve got hardware and software but no underwear.
Why couldn’t the robot get away?
Because he got CAPTCHA’d.
Why did the robot chicken cross the road?
He was programmed to.
Why did the robot cross the road?
It was programmed by the chicken.
Why did the robot eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a “light” snack.
Why did the robot fail the exam?
He was a bit rusty.
Why did the robot fall in love with the magnet?
They couldn’t resist their magnetic attraction.
Why did the robot fall off his bike?
He hadn’t ridden in a while and was a little rusty.
Why did the robot get married?
He couldn’t resistor.
Why did the robot get so angry?
Everyone was pushing his buttons.
Why did the robot go back to robot school?
Because his skills were getting a little rusty!
Why did the robot go on vacation?
To recharge her batteries.
Why did the robot apply for a loan?
He needed more cache.
Why did the robot go to the shoe shop?
To get rebooted
Why did the robot have a hard time making friends?
He had a real chip on his shoulder.
Why did the robot marry his girlfriend
Because he couldn’t resistor.
Why did the robot need counseling?
He bot-tled up his emotions.
Why did the robot run away?
It heard an electric can opener
Why did the robot sleep under a car?
He wanted to get up oily
Why did the robot sneeze?
Because she had a virus.
Why did the robot want to take a train up the mountain?
He thought it would be a hard drive.
Why didn’t the robot respond?
He didn’t have an actuator!
Why do robots like pancakes?
Because they are batter-y.
Why do robots make bad teachers?
They just drone on and on.
Why do robots malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a breakdown!
Why do robots never use bank cards?
They always pay with cache.
Why do robots take holidays?
To recharge their batteries
Why do so many robots live in Africa?
’cause Botswana.
Why don’t robots have any brothers?
Because they only have trans-sisters.
Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Because he’s always making new friends!
Why isn’t anyone scared of the robot dog?
His bark is worse than his byte.
Why was the android itchy?
It had roboticks.
Why was the robot bankrupt?
Because it had to use all its cache.
Why was the robot banned from driving?
It beeped too much.
Why was the robot insecure?
Because his intelligence was artificial!
Knock-Knock Robot Jokes
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Art
Art who?
R2D2
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Anne.
Anne who?
Anne Droid.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don-t push my robot buttons!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Robot.
Robot who?
Why are you telling knock-knock jokes? There’s a robot invasion.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Si.
Si who?
Cyborg.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Art.
Art who?
Artificial intelligence!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Rob.
Rob who?
Robot, that’s who!
Robot Dad Jokes
A robot walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “What’ll ya have?”
The robot says, “Well, it’s been a long day, and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?”
Did you hear about the robot pizza joke?
Never mind, its tooooo cheeeesy!
Girl, are you tired?
Because your program has been running through my internal CPU all night long!
How do robots drive fast?
They put their metal to the pedal.
How do robots eat pizza?
One byte at a time.
How do robots eat salsa?
With micro-chips.
How do robots exercise?
Circuit training.
How do baby robots drink milk?
From a robottle.
How do robots pay for things?
With cache, of course!
How do robots say goodbye?
They use bye-nary.
I dated a robot for a while, but we broke up.
He was just too high maintenance.
Know what’s ironic?
A computer asking me if I’m a robot.
A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress
But he wasn’t so successful in doing so.
The error message read:
Error: failed to establish connection with server.
Why did the robot go to the bank?
He’d spent all his cache.
Why did the robot go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down
Why does everyone fall asleep in Professor Robot’s flying class?
Because he drones on and on.
Why don’t robot chickens play basketball?
Too many technical fowls.
Why was the robot embarrassed?
He had software and hardware, but no underwear.
Why was the robot dog itchy?
He had robo-ticks.
Why was the robot so angry?
Because someone kept pushing his buttons!
Why was the robot tired when getting out of the car?
Because it had a hard drive.
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